There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
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She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You did what with his pubic hair?
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