i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
