peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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