birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Green mimosas i think yes
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
