New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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