This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
