i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
