Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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