I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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