Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
