Me too!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
