Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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