Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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