Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
