nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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