Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
