Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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