Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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