come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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