So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
