Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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