So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
