Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
