i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
