Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
