We're like a lot better than the average bears
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
