do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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