You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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