I feel like abortions should bother me more
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
