Do you still have your period?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
