i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
