He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
