Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
