is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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