Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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