3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
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I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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