so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
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We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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