They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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