Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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