You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
