Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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