This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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