I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
