I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
