You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
