i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
