It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
