Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
