So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
