You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
