Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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