remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
