Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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