Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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