Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Farmville is her only friend.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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