I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
