Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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