the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Brb crying the tears of my youth
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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