dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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