So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
