You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize